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I know couples who have gone years without transmitting by being honest with each other about when they are having outbreaks.
The person most likely to give you herpes is the person who doesn’t know they have it in the first place.
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Here’s another pet peeve of my email inbox: when a man (because it’s almost always a man) asks me if he should continue seeing this woman he’s been dating who just told him she has herpes.
Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. When you ask me questions about if you should date someone with herpes, I know you’re looking for an expert opinion.
It’s human nature to think it, and to wonder, and to actively make the decision. But in asking me this question, an actual person with herpes, you are shaming and insulting me in the name of needing help deciding.
How did my partners after my diagnosis make the decision of whether or not to sleep with me? But mostly they looked at me, and thought about the fun, challenging conversations we had, and remembered how gorgeous my thick hair is.Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not he truly knew this woman in the first place. You’ve never given herpes any serious thought before and here I am, a woman with herpes and a blog, who has so generously spilled her guts to the Internet about what it’s like.And sometimes it’s the classic entitled bullshit I face on Twitter all the time: I’m not a jerk for dumping someone who poses a risk to my health, right? It’s just a simple question to you: should I date this person, yes or no?A true partner, a true best friend, accepts all of you.They do not barter or keep score, or make a pros and cons list when it comes to asking you on a third date.